HHmmm...

So, I have not yet posted anything more about Mammaw B's 100th Birthday Party and for that I am sorry!!!

I have had A LOT on my mind lately that I have really been trying to process through. I am not even sure how to begin to say what is going on in my heart and mind! That is why I haven't really shared with many folks about it. But here I feel like I can put stuff down and not be judged for rambling on and on. Plus, I know that this rambling on and on is for me because I really don't think that anyone looks at this blog.

For the last few weeks I have been feeling a little down in the dumps again with the "Still being Single Issues". I have chatted a little with my SIL, Katie and my cousin Joy and I have talked a lot to my cousin, Christy about it. And when I say a lot I mean A LOT!! I probably have driven poor Christy nuts with my whining!! She says I don't but I drive myself crazy so I can only imagine how she feels! =)

I think that part of the reason that this has hit me so hard is because we are approaching my cousin Jessica's wedding...which means...I am the last of the Sims Grandchildren that have not been married. Don't get me wrong...I am so HAPPY for Jessica and want nothing but the best for her. And I am not making light of the fact that I have several cousins that have been through divorce but I am in a totally different case! This is a hard realization to come to especially since I just over two months away from being 30. I know...I know...it has become a normal to get married later in life but to be 100% honest this is not the way I ever dreamed my life would go. As a little girl I always thought I would be in my early 20s getting married and then I felt by this time in my life I would have at least 2 kids...well, obviously God saw things a little differently!!

It also makes it hard when family members and friends bring it to my attention that I am still single and that I should get back into the dating scene. I know they mean well but rejection is one of the hardest things to walk through when going through this kind of situation. But on the other hand I know the only way I can get to the other side is to date.

There have been times that I have been pretty content in my singleness and there are other times that I have been far from content. Lately I have been the latter but I am trying to get better...I am trying to find myself worth in the Lord and not in man.

God has gone to great lengths to speak to me...like having the Lead Pastor from New Life Church speak on singleness this last Sunday. Man, am I glad that I didn't go to church with Christy and watch the service at home...I was a crying mess for about an hour because God was dealing with me so personally. I am so glad I was at home by myself so I could have that time with the Lord.

I am a work in progress so please hang in there with me and pray for me as I walk this road.